Two things happened today. The United States inaugurated a president that makes many people afraid for their lives. His supporters will say that's an exaggeration, but if people have that perception, no matter how much actual danger they're in, he and everyone around him are still guilty of running a campaign that makes people feel that way. We've had that kind of campaign before, just not in a long time.
Today was also the day that we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King Jr. Having studied the life and work of Mahatma Gandhi; King believed that the only path to liberty for people who looked like him was through the philosophy of non-violence. He was assassinated for it, but it worked, or at least it made a hole in the dam and water is still coming through today.
I can't tell people not to be afraid. I can't live their lives. I do know there are a lot of promises being made and a lot of legislation proposed and recently passed that would make me very afraid if I were a recent immigrant or a person in the LGBTQ+ world or a woman. I'm not, though. I'm a seventh-generation American, old, white male, far too straight to be interesting.
A lot of people were afraid when King died. Part of it is that there were so many other deaths close to it. That was the point. There were forces that wanted people in America to be afraid. Non-violence was seen as a failure, can you blame them? With non-violence seen as a failure, many young black men turned to armed resistance. While I believe that's a mistake, I've never had the heart to criticize them.
I toured Los Angeles shortly after the Rodney King riots with my friend Petals. Petals was what we used to call an "online handle." She was an internet pioneer. She was also a comedy writer for television and, ultimately, an entertainment lawyer.
Petals was mixed. Her mother was from Mississippi. Her father was from Poland. She identified as black, partially because she’d been writing for black comedians on television. Our relationship was doomed because she was so much more confident than I was—at everything.
Touring the burnt-out blocks of Los Angeles, she asked if I was afraid as a white person. I asked her if she was afraid as a black person. She said, “No, but the Jew in me is nervous as hell.”
Saturday, while going to get some milk and things at the grocery, I saw my brother with a bunch of women, braving what would become very cold, to assert their rights. At least one of them was a trans woman who was dressed better than any of us.
I think what they were doing is part of the answer. People who are afraid should come together. There are reasons to be afraid. People are capable of some pretty terrible things. Living in Mississippi, it’s not unheard of for people who stand up for themselves to show up murdered one day. I’d like to say we can prevent that, but we can’t. What we can do is offer comfort and succor and love.
Mr. Rogers said, “When you are afraid, look for the helpers. There are always helpers.” When you’re a grown-up, the helpers don’t always look like the cops and firemen that Mr. Rogers pointed you to. Sometimes, when you’re a grown-up, the helpers look like each other.
For my part, I really want to say that I’m sorry. I’m old. I lived here. Part of my job was to help deliver a world where nobody had to be afraid, and I failed. A lot of us failed. In Mississippi, there have been a lot of long nights where people clung to each other, uncertain of their future because Medgar Evers was Killed, John Kennedy was killed, and Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed. I always hoped we’d get away from those days, but I guess not.
What I can tell you is that I was an infant when those things happened, and now I’m old. Bad times come. We can’t prevent that. Bad times come, but if you stick together, then you can get through them and live to be old.
I can’t tell you who will and who won’t be hurt in the coming years. Based on what’s been proposed, I don’t see how we’re gonna get through these days without some people getting hurt. Quite a lot of them. Some people think, “That’s ok—they ain’t like us.” That kind of thinking is how this happens.
When you see someone innocent fall or be hurt, say a little prayer for them, and say one for yourself, and then cling to whatever helpers you can find. That’s how you get through dangerous days.
