Peak Physical Form

My friend’s child discovered photographs from when I was in peak physical form. I told her to show her mom to see if she remembered any of that. I’d rather she remember me as something gentle, but my beast form was certainly part of the story.

Sometimes people ask if I miss being that guy. In truth, I don’t. Being the strongest guy in the room comes with the knowledge that one day you won’t be. It’s like the cyclops who gave up one of his eyes to see the future, but all he could see was the day when he died.

Discussing with a girl child the strengths and beauty of the feminine necessarily includes the destructive power of the masculine. The feminine creates, the male destroys, but before he destroys, he protects. That is the way. That is how the universe works. Ying and yank, light and dark, up and down, when there is one, there has to be the other.

and, lo, the beast looked upon the face of beauty
it stayed its hand from killing.
And from that day, it was as one dead.

When we were younger, there were many times when I advised energetic young swains that I was aware of their attention to her mother. No one ever questioned what I was up to. Preserving as much of her free will as possible, I wanted to make sure her life was as free of masculine poison as possible. My awareness was an implied threat, but only to boys who wouldn’t be gentlemen. I certainly missed a few, but that’s because my vision doesn’t see everything, and it can’t predict the future.

Being the strongest guy in the room doesn’t mean you don’t get the snot beat out of you occasionally. As a friend pointed out recently, if you go to Boots, Hat, and Cane looking for trouble, you deserve what you get, even if they bring their friends. Making my way home with Kleenex, stopping the flow of blood from my nose, was rewarding in a strange way.

In those days, everyone in boots, including me, had enough firepower in their trunk to make international news—but we never did.

People blame the shootings among young people these days on cultural issues. I suspect that’s looking in the wrong direction. In the thirties, that kind of gun violence was common, especially among the Jewish, Irish, and Italian immigrant communities. They didn’t have an AK, but they had the Tommy Gun, a weapon developed to sweep the foxholes and trenches of World War I of human life. It was remarkably effective.

What changed this was repealing prohibition and changing the structure of the American economy to free up honorable middle-class and working-class jobs. Making the Hebes, Micks, and Wops into steel workers made a huge difference in how much random violence Americans had to endure.

Toxic masculinity is a real thing. It exists because men are careless. They see their strength as a gift, not a responsibility. Femininity is a responsibility, too. For one thing, it possesses remarkable recuperative and healing power that goes far beyond medical knowledge. Resisting the idea of women Ministers and Priests always seemed so counterproductive to me. They’re actually quite made for it. It’s part of their innate femaleness.

I won’t apologize for being male. I’ve made more mistakes than most, and I’ve certainly fallen short more than I crossed the finish line, but I made the effort, and I continue to. Not being the strongest guy in the room doesn’t change my duty to be as strong in life as I can. The beast must stay his hand for life to exist, for beauty to flourish.

I don’t believe in glory days. These are the glory days. When I close my eyes on the world, tomorrow will be the glory days.

Boy children are a blessing. Girl children are a gift. Making them understand what they are and the power they hold is paramount.

I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s new album, not because she’s pretty, although she is, or because I like her music, it’s nice, but not my type. She is important in creating the vision women have of themselves.

I don’t know who does that currently for men. When I was young, the male voices I admired included Prince, Billy Joel, David Bowie, Phil Collins, and others. I particularly listened to Paul Simon and Cat Stevens, who became known as Yusuf. They sang not only about masculinity, but masculinity as part of the universal spirit. Those voices are important.

Do I miss being strong? Strength doesn’t go away. It changes form.