Zion

One of the things that makes Jews fascinating is their ability to survive as a unique culture without having their own land. They preserved everything: language, music, religion, law, dress, everything. Jewish boys have to learn and recite in their native language to become men.

While Africans in America came close, the only other culture I can think of that’s accomplished this is the Romani people. They started out near India but ended up in Ireland, and because the Irish sailed, they’re now covering the globe.

In exile in Babylon, the Jews knew they faced extinction by assimilation (which is what the Babylonians wanted), so they developed memes that would preserve them while in exile. The strongest of these memes was one that said their God would send a hero to smite all their enemies and return them to the land promised to Moses, where they would have a more populated Garden of Eden forever or for a thousand years, whichever came first.

This belief in a Messiah was very powerful. It mimicked the story of Moses, who came in from the desert with a message from God that led them to a land of milk and honey, now defiled by the people who moved in after the Babylonians ransacked the place and destroyed their glorious Temple of Solomon, which may or may not have ever existed. Nebuchadnezzar destroyed everything else. Nobody was left alive who remembered the temple, so why not inflate the story a bit?

While the Jews waited for their Messiah, an Iranian king vanquished the Babylonians and took pity on them, allowing them to return to Palestine. There was no Messiah to conquer all their foes. Back in Palestine, they would soon face their greatest threat yet: the Roman Empire, but so long as Herod the Great placated them by building theaters and cities, the Jews were safe temporarily.

Herod won the hearts of his people by rebuilding the Temple of Solomon on its original site, only archaeologists haven’t been able to find even the smallest bit of evidence to support this. Herod flattened a mountaintop to build his temple. It’s unlikely there was an even larger temple there before. The Wailing Wall, you see, sometimes attributed as the last vestige of Solomon’s Temple, is actually part of the retaining wall Herod’s engineers built to flatten the site for his temple.

With or without a Messiah, the Jews were back in their homeland and everything was great, until it wasn’t. The Romans, who had always been patient and benevolent masters, suddenly couldn’t stand the Jews. They tore down Herod’s Temple, burned Jerusalem, and exiled the Jews. For two thousand years, they were exiled.

During the war to end all wars (that didn’t end all wars), the British Empire had broken up the Turkish Empire, which had the misfortune of siding with the Germans. Dividing up the former Turkish Empire, an English nobleman received a letter from English Jews asking for a small piece of land where they might settle in their ancestral homeland. Realizing that more Jews in Palestine meant fewer Jews in England, Balfour agreed.

There was no Messiah, no vanquishing of the enemies, God didn’t seem to be involved at all, but the Jews were back in Palestine, and the third wave of Zionism began.

Christians liked this idea of a Messiah. They decided their Jesus was the Messiah and they altered the prophecy so that Jesus would first conquer the Kingdom of Heaven (in heaven), then hang out for a while, and one day return to conquer the Kingdom of God (on earth).

How this was supposed to happen took on many forms. American Protestants decided that the Kingdom of God would be somewhere in Florida, because that’s where the Garden of Eden was, and Florida is nice. They took the Jews returning to Palestine as a sign that Jesus would be coming back, any day now, although I’m not sure how they decided that.

Palestine didn’t just hang out empty for the two thousand years while the Jews were kicked out. Several different groups of people moved in. They’re still there, or were still there, but these new Zionist Jews have been steadily pushing them out. Protestants in America support them because they believe that’s part of the plan for Jesus to return, plus, more Jews in Palestine means fewer Jews in America.

So, here we are. The memes that kept Jews unified as a people are remarkable and unique in the world, but they’re also responsible for a lot of deaths in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. So far, there’s still no Messiah.

Definitions for Kingdom of God, Kingdom of Heaven, Zion, and Messiah tend to be fluid because they are memes, and not particularly attached to anything tangible in the universe.

I don’t say these things to challenge anyone’s faith, because I believe that faith is good for you, but it’s important to remember that these ideas don’t necessarily translate into something in the real world, and trying to shoehorn them into the real world can cause pretty painful problems.